Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
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but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
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