At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
