I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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