found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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