i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
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I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
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That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I can't put those talents on a resume
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Someone signed my nipple.
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