Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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