she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
i think my cat just said my name.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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