Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
