Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
