Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
