All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
