happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
