Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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