I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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