you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
