found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
It's never too late to be topless.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
