I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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