If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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