i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
