I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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