fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
