My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
