Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
