ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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