careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
