So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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