Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
