The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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