you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Text me some of your sweat
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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