He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
honey bunches of taint.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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