yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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