Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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