1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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