It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Randomize
