tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
What drink are we having for lunch?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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