I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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