I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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