Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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