i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
