I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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