this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
