SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
