Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
