OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
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