I hate your face
Yo dont text me then not text me
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
