So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
