it wasn't lemon gatorade
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
