At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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