i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
