Plan B is the new Plan A
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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