I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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