i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Don't tell me you're on acid again
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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