I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
