she was so not down for the gang bang
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
