she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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