If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
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