Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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