community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
